


To Be Held

by WordsAblaze



Series: Witcher Fics [34]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Author Projecting onto Jaskier | Dandelion, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecure Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Needs a Hug, M/M, Protective Eskel (The Witcher), Soft Eskel (The Witcher), and eskel gives him one, but it's not entirely relevant to the plot, i just love the concept, in the sense that eskel owns a bakery with his brothers, jaskel, no beta we die like jaskier doesn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28051407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsAblaze/pseuds/WordsAblaze
Summary: Emotions can be great but too much of them can also be the exact opposite. Luckily, that doesn't matter if you have someone willing to be there for you the same way Eskel is willing to be there for Jaskier...
Relationships: Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Witcher Fics [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726360
Comments: 13
Kudos: 91





	To Be Held

**Author's Note:**

> this is definitely not a 2am ventfic, i have no idea what you mean-

Eskel knows something is wrong when Jaskier doesn't reply to his selfie.

He knows because Jaskier always,  _ always _ gushes about how cute or how handsome or how sexy he looks when he gives in and decides to indulge in willingly taking as well as sending a picture of himself. 

There is a short moment where he thinks this is the one, this is the stupid selfie that convinces Jaskier he's actually not that nice to look at and he's not worth staying with but no, Jaskier would  _ never _ leave him for something so trivial after all they’ve been through and all they’ve done together, he just wouldn't. 

So Eskel doesn't question it at first, assuming that Jaskier had seen it, put his phone down to do something, and promptly forgotten to reply because he'd gotten distracted. But when he checks his phone again later, just after unloading the oven, and there's no reply, he knows something else is the matter. 

"Geralt, can you close up and all?" Eskel calls over his shoulder even as he starts pulling on his coat and shoes, concern flooding through his veins. 

"Is Jaskier okay?" Geralt asks, his face appearing in the doorframe. 

Incredibly glad he'd been blessed with at least one semi-intuitive brother, Eskel shrugs. "I hope so. I'll text you if it's really bad, I promise."

Nodding, Geralt waves him off, catching the keys Eskel throws at him before disappearing to tidy and close up the bakery. Lambert will probably moan at him about having had more work at the end of the day tomorrow but Eskel couldn’t really care less about that in the grand scheme of things -  _ things _ being making sure Jaskier is okay.

He tries dialling Jaskier's number as he fumbles with the door of his car, swearing softly when he only reaches voicemail and focusing his attention back on driving as fast as possible without getting arrested for being worried about the man he loves. Yes it’d be funny and Jaskier would probably write a song or two about it but it’d still be useless all the same.

He's once again immensely grateful that they'd chosen a flat close to the bakery because every second that passes has him more and more on edge and he’s not sure what he’d have done if the commute was any longer. It doesn't take long to get to their front door once he parks the car, though it does take half a dozen more curses before he actually gets inside. 

"Jaskier?" he calls, peering into the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom, the bathroom. When he comes up empty, he frowns. Backtracks. Looks in each room again, pausing in the doorframe to their bedroom when he spots the duvet on the floor just next to the bed.

"Jaskier?" Eskel calls again, a little louder this time. 

It's not  _ just _ the duvet on the floor. 

He very briefly chides himself for not realising before and wasting time in checking the rest of their home but then kneels down beside the human-shaped duvet heap, slowly pulling up one corner just enough to see under it.

Jaskier flinches. 

"Oh, Jas," Eskel breathes softly. 

He's curled up around himself, his legs pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around his shins, his head pressed firmly into his knees. He looks so painfully  _ small _ that Eskel immediately has the urge to hug him. Which he does.

He doesn't say anything else, slipping under the duvet too and placing his arms around Jaskier's shoulders, propping himself up against the bed, waiting not quite patiently but not impatiently either. It takes a little while for Jaskier to even acknowledge his presence, which he does by leaning into him, letting some of his weight rest on Eskel's chest. 

"I'm here now," Eskel murmurs, adjusting his position so they don't overbalance. 

Jaskier doesn't move again for another few minutes in which Eskel listens to the clock tick on and tries not to feel too guilty that it took him so long to arrive, but then Jaskier lets out a shaky sigh and uncurls his arms from around his legs, turning to instead curl them around Eskel's chest. 

"I've got you," Eskel soothes as Jaskier rests his head on his shoulder, both of them now wrapped in each other. 

Still mostly silent, Jaskier sniffles and curls his hands into fists around Eskel's shirt, the latter trying very hard not to curse when he realises the sudden dampness he can feel is being caused by  _ tears _ . He hates it when Jaskier cries, he hates it with every fibre of his being, but there’s not a lot he can do to stop someone from sometimes feeling too much emotion.

"It's all okay," Eskel whispers, lifting one of his hands to gently run it through Jaskier's hair. 

He can physically feel the way Jaskier shivers at his touch but he doesn't stop, knowing it's something that helps him return to the present, letting his fingers move across his scalp and occasionally curling little locks of hair into small curls. Eventually, Jaskier stops holding himself so stiffly and relaxes into him with a barely audible "I'm sorry."

It takes only half a second of surprise for Eskel to tighten his arm around Jaskier's shoulders and shake his head even if Jaskier can’t see it. "Please don't be."

“You looked so good in that photo," Jaskier replies instead, but Eskel doesn't particularly want to focus on the compliment when he can hear the strain in Jaskier's tone. Although he does smile at the thought of himself being considered a priority despite everything else.

He hums his agreement because he knows how important it is for Jaskier to feel like he’s gotten his point across. "Thank you. How do you feel?" 

Jaskier shrugs and buries his face in Eskel's shirt again. "My phone ran out of battery."

That’s definitely not all there is to it but it’s enough of an explanation as to why he didn’t pick up the call, which is just about enough to lessen the panic in Eskel’s heart. "That's okay, it happens all the time," he says, then adds, "It wasn’t your fault." 

"I'm sorry," Jaskier whispers again, and Eskel's heart breaks at the way his shoulders shake with a silenced sob that he clearly wants to hide. 

He lets his fingers run through Jaskier's hair again, waiting until the other man exhales softly before leaning down and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. "You don't ever need to apologise, especially not for something like this." 

When Jaskier doesn't reply, Eskel shifts the two of them so they're more upright, gently squeezing Jaskier's shoulder with the hand curled around him. "Hey, I love you." 

Jaskier's breath hitches. 

Just like it does every time Eskel says those words, as if he still somehow hasn’t accepted that they're true and will _never_ stop being true.

"I love you and you don't have to apologise," Eskel repeats, trying to keep his voice as soft as possible instead of letting it fill with the rage of wishing Jaskier could accept his love. He doesn’t blame Jaskier, of course he doesn’t, but it hurts and he's angry all the same.

He's not surprised when silence settles around them again but he is surprised when Jaskier finally breaks it only to quietly say, "You smell like raspberries."

Eskel chuckles. "We were making raspberry-flavoured muffins. It was a bit of a mess to be honest, we should have stuck with our usual blueberry."

"Why did you go with raspberry then?" Jaskier asks, leaning into Eskel's touch as he continues to play with his hair. 

"We flipped a coin and figured it couldn't be that bad," Eskel explains, glad that Jaskier feels like talking again even if it's not about what happened. Anything is better than their flat being silent, literally  _ anything _ .

"Did I interrupt your work?" Jaskier's voice is small again so Eskel wastes no time in shaking his head. 

"Of course not!" He replies as he pulls Jaskier closer, kissing his forehead once again. "I left the others to lock up and everything but I finished baking my batch before getting here as fast as I could." 

A pause, then: "I love you."

Eskel grins at the sincerity in Jaskier's voice, meeting his eyes as they both pull back just enough to properly look at each other. "I love you too," Eskel assures him. 

Jaskier's eyes are red and puffy and it's clear as day that he'd been crying long before Eskel had arrived but they're also bright and shining and the same ones he’d fallen in love with so Eskel cherishes the sight of them anyway. 

"Thank you," Jaskier mumbles, melting into Eskel’s arms again, his grip softer this time, less desperate and more comfortable as he settles.

Eskel hums again. "Don't mention it." 

He  _ will _ mention it, obviously. They've done this before and they'll do it again so Eskel knows that Jaskier will inevitably fall asleep soon but then he'll wake up and adorably ramble about how grateful and sorry and lucky he is until Eskel cuts him off with another hug or a kiss because he's not always as good with words but he'll want to show that he's always going to be there for Jaskier no matter what.

But that's all in the future and for the moment, Eskel just pulls Jaskier impossibly closer and holds him tight; sometimes, it's enough just to be held. 

**Author's Note:**

> so yeah,, apologies for the ooc mess and all but i'm tired and i'd like cuddles and this wrote itself so here we are... i'd insert a peace sign now but idk where to get one on desktop so you'll just have to imagine it :p
> 
> thanks for reading !! toss a kudos/comment? x


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